I sat down and spoke with a friend today. This friend was a little unsure of her new relationship.
Well, she clearly wasn't ready for a new relationship.
She felt that her issues hadn't been resolved since the last one
and clearly she was letting her emotions get ahead of herself.
I told her to wait and not rush things but she said she could handle it.
She said, "this one was different,
she knew better, she had her feelings in check."
Well. I could have told her, "I told you so."
but i didn't. I know better than that. I held my tongue.
I did however, point out later - which on hindsight,
I royally regret doing -
that she was in fact ill-suited in handling something like that.
It came out wrong, sounding mildly like me insinuating she was...
perhaps, needy, at best. Neurotic - well, at worst.
But I did assure her.
"We all get neurotic every now and then.
We all need a little more assurance.
Sometimes, they get it, sometimes they don't.
When they get the hint, they give us what we want.
When they don't, they just don't."
By the time I was done spouting wisecrack rubbish,
I realised that I was talking to myself.
Clearly she was just going to walk away from the problem.
What happened to true friends offering you
reality checks and constructive criticism?
I didn't mean to say the guy was blameless.
It's just her issues are going to tire them both out.
Then what?
She'll come round and say, "why didn't you tell me?"
And if I then say,
"I did. You just weren't listening."
We're going to fight anyway.
Lesson number one:
Sometimes, it's just better to keep your mouth shut.
It's like being caught between a rock and a hard place.
Do or otherwise, I'm damned.
You know what the irony is?
I've got my own unresolved issues.
Lesson number two:
Don't try to clean your neighbour's backyard
when you've got leaves in your own.
- if crying could make things better,
it'd be flooding tonight.
I told him I was going to sleep,
but I can't because of the thoughts swimming in my head.
He hit the nail on the head. But I'm not going to admit it.
He knows me better than I do myself anyway.
Tonight, I really don't need to wish for superpowers.
Because I looked for people to sit in my circle with me.
But no one was free to.
Despite all this, somehow,
something tells me that this feeling will go away
when I wake up tomorrow.
Because I guess that he'll look for me in the circle where he last left me.
And I presume that's where he'll find me.
I'm not sure about a lot of things,
but of that much, I'm sure.
