feeling important is important.

This girl badly wants to feel important.
She misses that feeling.

It's both there and not there,
all at the same time.

Shrouded in doubt,
love is coloured.

Unsure if she did it right at all.
Should she listen to her ears or her heart?

Her heart failed her once.
Her ears might foil her heart.
But since she's willing to give,
she should do so unreservedly,
shouldn't she?

This girl longs to feel important.
She is feeling important for the moment.
But only for the moment cause,
this moment is fleeting.
She can't grasp it completely because it won't let her.
She doesn't understand this concept,
but she's willing to learn about it.

can she do it?
can she succeed in doing so?
can it make her feel important?
can it make her regain that lost confidence?
can she stand up once again in the brilliance, knowing
that she's the center of his stage, for whom she will only perform...

His stage.

Will he help her, guide her and hold her?
Or will she be left to find her own?

All performers want a stage.
This girl has found one.
She's just unsure if it's really going to be hers.
She wants to work hard to make her dream come true.
Brilliance, flowers, applause and the spectacle.
means nothing to this performer if it isn't him.

Performers want attention.
This girl found someone.
she's just not sure if this someone can give.
can give her the attention she desires.

This girl has too many unresolved questions.
This girl is a performer.
This girl feels that feeling important, is important.

My emo thoughts for the day. (:
This girl is still holding on tightly to her secret.
She loves her secret.

xoxo,
Sarah.

Something special did happen after all...

Someone said something that meant the world to me.

"My quest for love ends with you..."

I wonder if this is really it. (:

Things happen for a reason,
sometimes you might not see it,
sometimes you don't want to see it,
sometimes you simply deny having seen it.

I finally understand that,
what happened has made me come to terms with how I really feel.
I'm willing to do it,
and I'm not scared
nor am I ashamed of doing so.

I only hope that we'll brave everything together, holding hands.
You will, won't you??

This silly girl is still guarding her lovely secret.

xoxo,
Sarah

Ambiguous.

Finds that ambiguity is good and bad all at the same time.
Sometimes it clarifies things,
sometimes it mystifies things.
Sometimes it draws things closers,
sometimes it draws things apart.

Ambivalence towards such ambiguity.
Really. (:

This girl is still guarding her little secret.

xoxo,
Sarah

Good things do happen.

I'm convinced that good things do happen.
seek and you shall find.

Something good happened for me yesterday.
I'd like to share that joy. (:

This girl is still seeking to protect whats hers.
Her little secret.

xoxo,
Sarah

Changes (:

I'm back from the states.
started a new term.

Celebrated a couple of birthdays,
watched a number of good shows
and hung out with loads of great friends.

Everything seems pretty constant.

But, not everything is.

I've also been through a breakup
realised that I have a medical condition
and learnt what family means.

Someone important told me this story;
too lengthy for me to retell.
But in essense it taught me one thing.
"It could be good, it could be bad."

The number of things that I came back to, all saw changes.
Even my dog changed.
Even the estate I lived in changed.
Habits changed, people changed.

Actually, people who should never change,
whereas those who shouldn't, have.

Despite these changes that I seldom adapt well too,
I came out with 2 invaluable things.

Priceless friends and a valuable secret.
Some things are just worth giving everything up for.

This isn't meant to be a sad entry of sorts.
In fact, I'm pretty pleased with what's happened so far.

I'm going to work hard to achieve something,
for myself,
my family and my *secret.

*secret - in reference to a pact.

This girl knows that this secret is worth fighting to protect.
This secret means the world to her.
This secret is what will drive her.

xoxo,
Sarah.

Nothing much to do

Ok.

So I've worked a little and played alot.

Today is just one of those days that are just plain boring.
We're not working, not studying, just lazing around.

The worst thing is that
you can't really travel cause you got stuff to do.
Just every morning.
Why can't we have social security, bike rentals, bank acc opening
all on the same day?

This is just beyond me.
Anyway. Hope my weekend starts real soon.
Then I can start working for real mann.
No more OJT. I'll be working unassisted.
I like the thought of that.

Hope its not too warm come monday.
You can kinda feel the weather warming up here.
Usually you'de freeze outside your blanket after a min.
Now u kinda start to feel abit warmer.
Just that you can't leave your house in shorts and a tee yet.

It seem the weather can get as hot as 40 to 45 degs.
That's just insane. But I guess that's Summer here.

I'm so bored right now. really.
Maybe I should go and sleep.
Oh wait.

I did that already.

xoxo,
Sarah.

14th May 2009, Wildwood - NJ

I'm exhausted after a day of shopping at Atlantic City.
We went from shop to shop,
particularly those plastered all over with SALE or CLEARANCE signs.

Went from COACH, to Nike, to Disney, to Adidas, to GAP, to Guess,
... and the list goes on...to Banana Republic, to Calvin Klein.

I told Farhan we girls would keep it under 4 hours...
But, who knew, even the guys couldn't! haha.
It's that exciting.

I think it can't get any better than 9.99USD for a pair of Ck Jeans.
Seriously.
I also managed to get a fleece jumper from Disney.
At the kids section. My jumper says: ages 10-12.

Hm. That's for the kid in me.
Bought some stuff at GAP.
Clothes were going for less that 6USD.
Basically... I like.

Got one for Dim and one for boyfriend. (:
Don't worry, didn't forget you guys.

Anyway, I got Moreyentation tmr at 3.45pm.
Better get some rest. (:

xoxo,
- sArAh -