love.

wonders if loving someone works for her at all.
Sometimes... it may be better to be with someone who loves you more than you love him.
It's not so tiring that way.

She went to sleep pondering so many things.
In fact she was asleep when he called her.
And she woke up to keep him company,
because she'd never be too tired to hear his voice.

Then he decided that he wanted to go to sleep.
Well. Actually, that didn't make her feel too bad.

Until she watched something on the telly.
This girl's ruminations got the better of her.
She watched
this guy (who had an illness) breakup with the girl he loved.
Its not that he broke up with the girl cause he didn't love her.
He wanted to protect her, he wanted her to move on.
Without him.
But this breakup was initiated in the most abominable fashion.
He held an engagement party and made her dress up,
just to humiliate her saying he couldn't marry her
since it was all the idea of another woman whom he'd loved more.
That woman, a childhood friend of his,he best friend, his accomplice.
The guy flung the intended engagement ring into the pool.
The stupid girl jumped into the pool after the ring.

Am I, not that stupid girl?
Am I, not that stupid girl that jumped in,
to hold on to whatever was left?
He didn't even shed a tear.

So maybe the mechanics have changed after all.
So maybe you're just a backup on his shelf.

But maybe he does love you.
Maybe he'll tell you.

but, I don't want him to tell me,
I want him to show it to me,
I want to feel it.

But maybe I'll be gone before it happens.


sigh. another emo post.
rawr.

This girl's secret is out.

xoxo,
Sarah.