Yummies for our tummies♥

Our 小笼包子 date!!!
So happy!!!^^

Frustrated♥

Because despite what has happened, the reality of returning home is a pretty harsh one.

Tonight's scalding accident just goes to show that when you need someone, all you're gonna get is yelled at.

"if you need something, just tell me what I can do" -- I'm not sure I need this type of harshness. I only want a little concern. That's all.

I couldn't feel more unloved tonight.

Anything if I could...♥

Tonight, I know that my special someone is feeling as low as low could possibly get.

I made this for him... But I'm not sure how to give it to him... I suppose I can only hope he'll see it... And know how much I care...♥

A picture paints a thousand words.♥

A picture paints a thousand words
... And I've got two.

I don't usually put up such personal stuff... But it doesn't warm the heart any more than this. This is "The little slice of heaven" that I often talk about.

Separation anxiety♥

Separation anxiety. Too much. Too painful. I have to be... For him.

Heavy, shallow breaths.
Arduous journeys, a marked
Reluctance to continue...
Dying slowly inside.

Heavy gasps.
Earnestly pining.
Always prideful.
Resenting each impasse.
Thoughts of abandonment
Eating away at me, leaving me to
Die.

Lightheaded dizziness.

Marked by the never ending questions:
Real or not real...?

Long. Longing.♥

It's been awhile since I've last posted because I've been pretty busy.

Hiding behind my long days as an excuse not to cope, not to think. The days aren't helping. It's not packed enough... Because there still is lunch... And even with skipping meals, eating breakfast bars and packet cookies... There is still so much time alone, so much time to think and wonder.

In any case, I'll be relocating to a safer place where my thoughts could stay hidden better. I haven't quite decided where yet... So many options, so many choices... None of which I'd really like.

But I suppose... What you like... Doesn't really matter anymore.

Someone once asked me... If you knew you could do something to make someone feel better, even if it was at your expense, would you do it?

My answer: if he mattered enough, yes.
In this case, he means that much to me. For me to give everything else up just to make things that much easier for him. Because that person is him.

But tonight, cracks are showing; I am only human. Repressed emotions. With no more than a wall to confide in.

Thinning.Away.
Wasting & fading.

#lovingcouldntpossiblyhurtsomuchcouldit

This song couldn't more clearly articulate what I really need right now.)':
-- Kenny Chesney - Come Over (Lyrics)

Something I want a little more than really bad♥

There's recently been, by a stroke of luck, an opportunity for something to happen.

As much as I hoped for it to happen, it wouldn't. Of course with good reason.
I didn't push for it.

I can't help but feel envious or hopeful when I look at other girls, wistfully hoping to myself that I could have my own.

Perhaps just one... Or two... But it'd cost too much... For this silly little fantasy to come true...

Even if it wasn't us being... In... A relationship, could it have at least... Been...

I'm asking too much. I shouldn't even be allowed such silly thoughts.

I'm just awfully thankful he even let me in the circle by him today. Let me not be greedy.

♥still being the same old silly me.