lacking coherence.

It is the annoying moment when you bare your soul, talking about the person you care for & love so much, only much to your horror, to find a lack of coherence between what I feel and what reality tells me.


It's painful to find that the person you care for say that he "didn't have a love life" or even declares "singlehood ftw" and things like that.


It's both frustrating & hurtful; because it's moments and responses like this that force you to question everything you've ever had.


I very much want to have faith in the realness of everything we had. But I get the vibe that doesn't quite sit well with you. I don't understand why. I really don't. Hopefully some day I will. 


Or maybe...


... it's gonna be another unresolved misunderstanding on both our parts...


- but it really hurts.so bad.

This is pretty much how I feel right now.  I really do. love you.