Nothing.

I can't even begin to express how hurt and disappointed I am with that special someone in my life.


When he first ignored my messages, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, thinking that he hadn't seen my messages. After realizing that he was deliberately ignoring me, beyond hurt, were the feelings of stupidity.


I feel completely stupid for picking up every time he needs me. I feel completely used for entertaining the times he tries to reach out to me. I feel completely stupid for buying into the bits of sincerity he hides behind to contact me to say thank you.


I finally realize how all this while he has been dictating the depth or the duration of our interaction. If he wants a time-out, no one can find him. But if I want peace and quiet, it becomes about me not confiding in him or dealing with him.


2 days ago, a part of me died when he said those things to me. 
Today, I'm convinced that a whole lot of things that I've experienced, were purely illusory highs on my part.


I've decided to go ahead with that decision and not look back because, from henceforth, there will be absolutely nothing worth looking back for. Nothing.


Whatever that has happened today, has brought me to the clear and painful realization that I should throw away a whole lot of things and wait for someone better to fill those shoes. 


Someone who really meant it when he said that all he really wanted was for someone to love him. Because the someone who loved him was there, I just don't think he treasured it.


For someone who would keep that promise when he said that he'd protect me. If deliberately ignoring me isn't creating opportunities for hurt and misunderstanding, I don't know what is.


I will say one thing however, "that today, is that day, that my unhappiness actually borders into dislike for you", "congratulations. you've finally done it".