Dilemma♥

The pretty world I've been trying so hard to re-established took a complete turn for the worse when I was prescribed a certain drug today.

It's a classic case of how much of your functioning is you... And how much else... Is the drug.

I guess... I never really was capable to pick myself up on my own. Perhaps... This was the way things were meant to pan out. Perhaps the drug was the key.

I finally understand his grouse with having to take the little pill. Because you don't want to be dependent on it. You don't want to feel you can't cope, you can't do well without it.

I'm just disappointed with myself. And suddenly, I'd rather endure my sleepless nightmarish nightly hells, the torrents of pain...than succumb again... To the lures of this evil blue.

So deadly. So many. So unwelcoming.
So ... Distracted by these thoughts...

So maybe... Just one more night - one more comforting night to escape the tears, the pains of this revelation.

Before the morning comes & tomorrow is again hard to bear.

-thoroughlydisappointedwithmyself