Silly Me.

Sometimes, girl, you are plain silly.

Why do you hope when it doesn't happen?
Who are you to wait for something that won't?

Time? No.
Because he wouldn't give you what you couldn't give him.
Because he's busy.
Because there are other things.
Other more important things, no doubt.

A text? It won't be him.
You aren't anyone to him.
If he texts anyone, it will be one of them.

A call...? No.
That's not what you want.
You wouldn't pick up anyway.

An option? No.
That isn't what he is.
Because as much as he is what makes you happiest,
this happiness comes with a cost.
This happiness doesn't last.

You'll get hurt? No.
He wouldn't hurt you? But he has.
Hard as he has tried not to, you still got hurt.
Even if you hurt him too.

And even knowing this...
you're still here?

Oh my. Oh my. Dear girl, Indeed you are silly.

Oh are you tearing?
...

As much as he is your answer,
he is your pain.
As much as you want him as a friend,
the ambiguity of his actions confuse you, give you hope,
then tear you down.

This, my dear, is what happens, when you let your guard down,
when you let him in, and he walks out on you again.

Will he pick you up...?

or...

Are you just being silly all over again?

#howdoichoosebetweenmyheadandheart
#sodifficulttobereal